What will people think?

Strengthen your internal ‘locus of control’

“What will people think?” I can still hear my parents saying it, with that indignant tone. Others look at us through their judging lens, they form their opinions and pass judgement. At least, that’s what my parents assumed. What they suspected others would think or say, steered their behaviour.

Kris goes to a party because she feels obligated. Jo swallows his reservations because he ‘should be tolerant’. Sam doesn’t dance because he’s afraid of how people will react. All three of them make themselves subordinate to a norm imposed by the outside world. The motivation for their behaviour lies outside themselves. That drains energy. Kris, Jo, and Sam are ignoring their own needs. What a shame, right? High time they focus on their internal ‘locus of control’. Choosing from your own values and needs gives you strength. It convinces you to do something with genuine enthusiasm.

How about you? Where does your locus of control lie? Do you do things because you think you have to? Do you let yourself be guided by a real or imagined norm? Or do you choose consciously?

Nonviolent Communication inspires you to stand up for your own needs without putting others offside. You learn to stand your ground while staying connected. That way, you choose from your inner voice, sometimes against the current, but always with respect for others.

We explore this dynamic extensively in our foundational trainings.

See you soon? Erwin